WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me, although I clearly remember having to dodge enemy fire as Chelsea and I tried to cross the road.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that intewesting? In a few moments, we will be wistening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a sewious case of molting, and went on to accompwish its wife wong dweam of cwossing the woad to engage in an illicit affair with a U.S. Senator.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
REVEREND JEREMIAH WRIGHT: I say, DAMN that chicken! Does that make me unpatriotic?



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Is Obama the Messiah??

Well, some people think so...

Mark Mortford- in San Francisco Cronicle- June 6, 2008-Barack Obama isn’t really one of us. Not in the normal way, anyway…It is something more. Even Bill Clinton, with all his effortless, winking charm, didn’t have what Obama has, which is a sort of powerful luminosity, a unique high-vibration integrity.

Samantha Fenell, the editor of Elle Magazine-I have thrown myself into a new world—one in which fluffy chatter and frivolous praise are replaced by a get-to-the-point directness and disciple-like devotion…(Obama) grabbed my hand, and gave that brilliant smile of his. I literally said out loud to the woman next to me who witnessed my good fate, “I’ll never wash this hand again”.

The Chicago Sun Times: Also, we just like to say his name. We are considering taking it as a mantra.” [page 218]… “At one point, I thought Barack was going to rise up over the people and start saying, ‘My children, my children, I have come to free you,‘ joked his driver and bodyguard, Mike Signator. “It was just incredible.” [p. 297]

Jesse Jackson, Jr.- congressman of Illinois “What Barack Obama has accomplished is the single most extraordinary event that has occurred in the 232 years of the nation’s political history. … The event itself is so extraordinary that another chapter could be added to the Bible to chronicle its significance.”

Obama’s Nomination Victory Speech In St. Paul June 3, 2008 - I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth.

Halle Berry -“I’ll do whatever he says to do,” actress Halle Berry said to the Philadelphia Daily News. “I’ll collect paper cups off the ground to make his pathway clear.” http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0208/8605.html

Eve Konstantine in Huffington Post-Feb. 5, 2005-Barack Obama is our collective representation of our purest hopes, our highest visions and our deepest knowings of who we are as a people, and as a country. We’ve surfaced him out of “the field” and charged him with the task of riding this wave on our behalf. . . .
Obama has tapped into his own VQ. He’s listened to the unspoken, heard the unvoiced, and has responded to the yearning of our youth, our boomers, and the disenfranchised. He’s our product out of the all-knowing quantum field of intelligence.

Chris Matthews - CNBC - “I’ve never seen anything like this. This is bigger than Kennedy. [Obama] comes along, and he seems to have the answers. This is the New Testament. This is surprising.”

Gerald Campbell - member in Congress - . . . For his part, Obama has the capacity to summon heroic forces from the spiritual depths of ordinary citizens and to unleash therefrom a symphonic chorus of unique creative acts whose common purpose is to tame the soul and alleviate the great challenges facing mankind.

Oprah Winfrey -”We’re all here to come together – to appreciate our uniqueness and to treasure our diversity, and we’re here to evolve to a higher plane . . . When you listen to Barack Obama, when you really hear him, you witness a very rare thing. You witness a politician who has an ear for eloquence and a tongue dipped in the unvarnished truth…

Louis Farrakhan - You are the instruments that God is going to use to bring about universal change and that is why Obama has captured the youth and he has involved young people in a political process that they didn’t care anything about. That’s a sign. When the Messiah speaks, the youth will hear and the Messiah is absolutely speaking… He is the stone that the builders rejected, has become the headstone in the corner.

Is this spiritual worship or what?? These words are used when describing God.
Is anything dark about this?? Behind this??

I think so.



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Rights and Responsabilities

We heard in the third debate this question: Is health care a right, or a responsibility?

B. Obama said that it should be a right. Where does that right originates from? Health care is a product. Whether be a physical product - in pharmaceuticals, or a product of labor - at the hands of a doctor. If you have a right to something, who is that to provide it? The government. Where does the government gets its resources from? The taxpayer. You and me! That means that when a person has the right, another person has the responsibility. You can't separate right to responsibilities. Rights are not a social commodity. They are not a social capital, where one person's rights can be elevated while decreasing rights of another. Rights are individual. There are no such thing as collective rights. The rights of a individual are not negotiable at the hands of another individual.

Nowhere in Constitution is mentioned that because you exist and you are processing oxygen, that you have the right to health care. We, the individual tax payer will be responsible for the behavior of every single other American.

Let's take homosexuality for an example:

You have a person A and a person B. They decided that they wanted to have unprotected gay sex. This is a behavior that we cannot regulate. If one of them transmits a life-threatening disease to another, guess who pays the bill? YOU and ME!!They have the right to behave that way and you have the responsibility to pay for it.

What Obama is unwilling to do is calling what it is: socialism. When you say one person has the right and the other person has the responsibility, you describe socialism. If you want the government to really work for us: the hell to be at work on time, the hell to working hard and do a good job, quit your job, get drunk and pee on yourself. Just lay in the street. Obama will take care of you. He'll give you a house, free food, health care.

We need food before we need doctors, right? So if people need health care and therefore is their right to have it and you have the responsibility to provide it, why not universal nutrition? Why not have the government step in and decide that cattle farmers, poultry farmers, corn farmers, own their product of their labor to hungry people? Not a free market, its entitled! They need it.

We need houses? Universal shelter, universal housing. How about clothing? Universal apparel. You think it's too far?? Under FDR, the government had no problem with the idea that the government was going to nationalize retirement, and tell every single American they had no right but to participate in social security. We are so used to it.

This is not compassion. Compassion is something we do from the goodness of our heart. When the government makes us do it, it's compulsion.

People have the right to be gay, to be fat, to be drunk, to be high, to be stupid and you have the responsibility to pay. You, go to work! You, get up in the morning! You, sacrifice time away from your family, go to work, push, pull, dig, sweat!! Spend extra time on the job! Work double shift! You owe it to them! They are hungry, they're tired, they're poor, they're needy! It's your fault! You are not working for yourself and your family, you are working for everybody else! You don't own your own labor! You don't own your productivity! You don't own your mind!

Obama does!!

He's going around to tell everybody they are entitled to their behavior, the suckers are going to pay!!

WE, the idiots!!

If you assume a right, you assume the responsibility. If you say "this is my right" then it's your responsibility to deal with the consequences. Your can't say "you don't have the responsibility to pursuit the happiness for you, you have the responsibility to pursue it for me'!!!!!!!!!!




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The "C" Word

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Obama is a COMMUNIST!

The cats are out of the bag, Obama is a CoMMUNIST!!

That's it!!



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Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until on day, the owner threw them a curve.'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.' Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.'I only got a dollar out of the $20,' declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, 'but he got $10!''Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!' 'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!''Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!




And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.



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Ode to The Chosen One

Dedicated to The Obamessiah and his Democrats

This is an ode to The Obamessiah, the Chosen One, chosen by the MSM, sprung from the seed of a corrupt ACORN and the closest thing to the anti-Christ we’ve seen to date!

Christopher Columbus, was the greatest Democrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where he was, and returned not knowing where he had been.
And he did it all on borrowed money.
Over 3,000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, “Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land.” Nearly 3,000 years later Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels,sit on your asses and light up a camel - this is the promised land.”
Now, Barack HUSSEIN Obama is going to steal your shovels, kick your asses, raise the price of Camels and mortgage the promised land.
If you are one of the fortunate people who has anything left after paying taxes, we expect a very generous contribution to the worthwhile project.
P.S. It is said that Barack HUSSEIN Obama is considering changing the Democratic Party emblem from a donkey to a condom, because it stands for inflation, halts productivity, covers up a bunch of pricks, and it gives a false sense of security.

FIRST BOOK OF DEMOCRAT Psalm 2008-2012

Obama Is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want.
He Leadeth Me Beside Still Factories,
He Restoreth My Faith In The Republican Party,
He Guideth Me In The Paths Of Unemployment.
Yea, Though I Walk Through The Valley Of The Bread Line, I Shall Not Go Hungry.
Obama Has Anointed My Income With Taxes,
My Expenses Runneth Over My Income,
Surely, Poverty And Hard Living Will Follow Me All The Days Of My Life.
The Democrats And I Will Live Forever In a Rented Room.

I Am Glad I Am an American,
I Am Glad That I Am Free.
But I Wish I Was A Little Dog
And Obama was A Tree.



.swiped from: http://texasfred.net/archives/2525

United States Map

A father wanted to read a magazine but was being bothered by his little girl, Shelby.

She wanted to know what the United States looked like.

Finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on which was printed the map of the country. Tearing it into small pieces,he gave it to Shelby and said, 'Go into the other room and see if you can put this together. This will show you our whole country today.'

After a few minutes, Shelby returned and handed him the map, correctly fitted and taped together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly. 'Oh,' she said, 'on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus . When I got all of Jesus back where He belonged, then our country just came together.'

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Don't vote marxist

What happens if we elect a marxist to the presidency? The foundation will start to crack. Maybe not right away, but it will crack. Aren't we live in a soft tyranny today?? Let's see:

One third (1/3) of Americans do not pay any federal income taxes. Two thirds (2/3) are the ones that are carrying the entire burden, and of those 2/3, top 50% is paying 97% of the tax burden for everybody else.

Obama wants to redistribute wealth, but just how much more does he wants to redistribute?? He says that 95% of Americans will get a tax break. How can that possibly be when only 2/3 pay? Do you know how? It is called the massive welfare state. The saying is that Obama is going to take more money from those who pay income taxes and give it to the people who don't pay any income taxes. That's called welfare.

In the Constitution, tax bills come out of the House of representatives. The last two years' tax bills, were Nancy Pelosi's tax bills. Do you hear Obama bragging about that?

I think every citizen of this country should pay some income taxes so they a stake on what's going on. If you get to vote, then you ought to pay some taxes. This is what the libs figured it out: if they can get close to 50% of people not paying taxes, they'll own the country, because they will be able to beat out the productive sector.

Where these politicians get of and tell us that they can do these things and we have to surrender more and more what we worked for? Where is the example that they are capable of handling what they already have? Why do people who pay taxes, those 2/3, voluntarily vote to surrender their liberty to the federal government??



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Weird Flash Cards

We’ve all seen flash cards used to teach math functions and simple words. But we’re sure you haven’t seen flash cards like these!

A Barnes & Noble bookstore in Minnesota has a package of flash cards apparently intended to help someone translate Arabic words and phrases into English.


Here is a sample of some of the English words and phrases translated from the Arabic in this flash card set.

“assassination attempt”
“counter strike”
“attack”
“air strike”
“enemy”
“The army seized power”
“We buried the dead man yesterday”
“to seize power”
“martyr”
“to die in a battle”

To see a PDF image of the actual flashcards, designed by Fethi Mansouri, please click http://tool.donation-net.net/Images/Email/1097/Arabic_flash_cards.pdf. You will need Adobe Reader or similar software to view the image.

I guess we’re pretty straight-laced here in America. Our flashcards designed to teach English have such controversial words and phrases such as “thank you,” “could you please help me?”, and “what time is it?” I don’t think you’ll find an English translation flashcard set with words like “assassination attempt.”

One has to wonder who would need an Arabic flash card set that translates “assassination attempt” into English. Then again, maybe we shouldn’t have to wonder at all.




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Being a Pumpkin

A woman was asked by a coworker,
'What is it like to be a Christian?'
The coworker replied, 'It is like being a pumpkin.'
God picks you from the patch, brings you in,
and washes all the dirt off of you.
Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff.
He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed.
Then He carves you a new smiling face and
puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.'

Isn't it wonderful being a pumpkin?




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Dumbing Down...tests?...kids?

John Cannell is a physician that started to investigate why there is little, if any, relationships between the tests administers by the schools and those given by the outside psychologists.

One of his patients, a 15 yo pregnant girl dropped out of school after giving birth. Cannell was curious about her school records and found out that her teacher didn't say anything about the girl's low academic skills because the teacher didn't want the girl's self-esteem to be injured. She scored on a standardized test (CTBS) slightly above the national norm.

How could so many children test below average on independent testing but do well on their official school achievement test? States like W. Virginia and Kentucky announced that their test score placed their students "above the national average" on that same CTBC test. Does that means that all is well?

Looking closer, Cannell found that W. Virginia had the lowest proportion of college graduates and the third lowest ACT college entrance scores of any state in the country. It ranked near the top in illiteracy and poverty. Same questions applied to Kentucky.

Cannell then decided to present himself to a test publisher as a superintendent. Almost immediately, he was talking to a saleswoman who implied that their district's scores would be "above average" if he bought one of their tests and as long as he didn't change tests, their score would go up every year. How could she be so sure?

Not a single one of the 50 states reported that its students scored below average. More than 90% of American school districts claimed to be performing above average.Among those were St. Louis, Kansas City, New York City, all districts notorious for the break down in their schools. His findings were upheld by the U.S. Department of Education.

Cannell is going even further to believe that the current American epidemic of teenage pregnancy, depression, drug use, delinquency, and teen suicide is partially related to the low standards and the low expectations so evident in America's public schools.

Dumbing down the tests and the low standards that the schools set, cheat our children of the future they can have.




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